OK film fans, most Sundays are a night of reflection and introspection, a time for a look inward to refuel the soul, empower the spirit and refresh the mind before a new week begins. But, tomorrow is a Holiday, so none of that new age, touchy feely bulls#*t tonight. In light of the NFL Playoffs and my boys' Blues Brothers moment (you know who you are) tonight were going to drop a Top 5. If you haven't read the detour before, let my friends over at Championship Vinyl explain why this list goes to 5 and not 11.
Tonight's impromptu list is none other than my Top 5 Fist Fight Scenes. Keep in mind, it's scenes, not fight films. We're going to keep this short, so let's get to it.
Honorable Mention I have to bring this film up, simply because it is a masterpiece of insanity. Oldboy is a Korean film that makes almost no sense and yet contains scenes both beautiful and horrific. Sometimes they occupy the same space.
5. The Outsiders I was in a couple of fights like this in high school and just like the film, you never really know where the punched are going to come from. You start out mano-a-mano, squared off against a familiar foe, but after about 30 seconds it degenerates into a free for all. Throw in a little rain and the haves vs. have nots theme and you have yourself a classic rumble.
4. Lethal Weapon Before MMA was in the popular vernacular, we had this, a classic movie-ending, hand-to-hand scrap to the death in the pouring rain and mud between Mel Gibson’s batshit crazy ex-special forces police detective, and Gary Busey’s shadowy mercenary. A textbook triangle choke execution by Gibson ends the fight, a move you now see in MMA fights all the time.
3. Raging Bull If you're waiting for a Rocky moment, you can stop now. It's not coming, not on my watch. If you have to ask why, perhaps you don't understand what a fight is or how boxing actually works. Perhaps my friend Marty can show you.
2. The Way of the Dragon The fact that this fight did not create a Black Hole that ended all life on Earth is still a mystery to modern scientist. How is it possible that a fight between Bruce Lee and Chuck Norris exists but has never been turned into a Sistine Chaple-esque ceiling painting? Sometimes our world makes no sense to me. I'm quite sure this could actually bring back Unicorns, end world hunger and cure cancer if they would just it get it done already. Despite its miraculous healing powers (I'm no longer a leper!) it still was unable to supplant the reigning champ.
1 They Live Coming up on a 22nd consecutive year as the most ridiculously stupid, meandering yet exultant fight scene ever created, this pinnacle of testosterone served with copious amounts of wtf has yet to meet its match. If Zeus, Odin, Jesus and Buddha wrote a fight scene, it would still suck in comparison. It's only true competition comes from a cartoon version of the same fight, as conceived by the retarded geniuses Trey Parker and Matt Stone.
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