OK film fans, its Friday night and we're gonna dive right in. With the 82nd Academy Awards rapidly approaching I'd like to examine some of the Oscar contenders for the Best Picture award. The Oscars began in 1929 and from 1932-1944 the number of contenders for the award ranged from 8 to 12 nominees. Starting in 1945 the list was restricted to 5 nominees, the same as all other categories. However, for reasons I can't begin to fathom, this year the nominees were expanded to 10 nominees. Now since this list is, earmuffs if you're dainty, complete and utter bullshit, let's run down the films I will not be including in my list.
5. Precious: Based on the Novel "Push" by Sapphire I'm sure this is a fine film, all the reviewers seem to love it, but the title alone illicits anger in me every time I see it. What was wrong with just Precious? Did we really need to have the rest of this title? If this starts a trend in film titles I'm blaming the Denver socialite (read: Celestial Seasonings trust fund child/spoiled girl with daddy issues who married a wealthy older man) who was a producer for this film. My next problem stems from director Lee Daniels, who was also a producer for Monster's Ball. I find it disturbing that he now has the same number of nominations and more wins than Spike Lee. I can't even get into The Oscars and the bizarre list of films that African-Americans nominees/winners have been associated with. Let's just say it's an unsurprisingly narrow spectrum of roles. Finally, in conjunction with my last point, I'm just really sick of any person of color being nominated for roles involving poverty and overcoming obstacles. I was really hoping the win by a long time favorite of mine, Forest Whitaker, as Ugandan dictator Idi Amin, would finally break the mold. Guess I was wrong.
4. Up Joining Beauty and the Beast as the only animated films to be nominated for Best Picture, this may be the greatest animated film ever made. Actually, I haven't seen it so I have no idea if it's good or not. Here's what I do know, it's an animated film. Last I checked they already have their own damned category. I don't care how good a film this is, it's an animated film geared towards children with enough story to keep the adults from losing their minds. That's how kids' films are created and marketed these days. The day a film like this wins the Best Picture award is the day yours truly laces up his skates for a triple axel in hell.
3. Avatar Billion plus dollars in revenue, check. Industry advancing technological innovations, check. Oscar worthy script, direction and acting, I don't think so.
2. District 9 Is an original film about the practicalities of housing stranded aliens in South Africa. With a thinly veiled subtext about our treatment of minorities and the poor in general, it was an interesting film notable for the performance of Sharlto Copley. It also was filled with the semi-truck sized plot holes many sci-fi films are notable for. Solid sci-fi does not equal best picture of the year.
And this of course leaves only one choice left...
1. The Blind Side This glorified movie of the week from the Lifetime channel may be the worst film ever nominated for an Oscar. The mere fact this film is even nominated speaks volumes about America and its unending desire to fellate itself for its good deeds. Let's not forget this is the same Academy that gave the Best Picture award to Driving Miss Daisy while not even nominating Do the Right Thing, an act which should have been considered a hate crime. Considering all of the interesting films that have been made regarding race issues in America, the only award this film should win is being placed atop this list. A couple of years ago I read Tod Lindberg's The Political Teachings of Jesus in which several chapters were devoted to The Sermon on the Mount, one of the center points of Jesus' teachings. I'm reminded of this passage, which may not reflect directly upon the actions of the matriarch of the film, Leigh Anne Tuohy, but it is surely falls on deaf ears in Hollywood.
"Take care not to do your good deeds in such a way as to draw attention to yourself; you could lose the reward your Father has for you. When you help people, do it without fanfare, without that ostentation hypocrites employ to get the admiration of others. The truth is, they've already had all the reward they're going to get. That way is not for you. When you help someone, don't let your left hand know what your right is doing. Keep it secret, and your Father who knows all secrets, will reward you."
And don't even get me started on Sandra Bullock.
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